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Every marriage has ups and downs, but in order for a relationship to stand the test of time, there must be balance and respect. If an individual is not able to thrive with their partner or if boundaries are constantly overstepped, it can lead to a general dissatisfaction in the relationship.
Below are some key warning signs that the balance in your marriage is off:
Financial Over-Dependence
Over dependence on your partner can create an imbalance in your relationship. This does not mean that both partners have to bring in equal income, but having constructive conversations around income and independence are crucial to avoiding that imbalance and potential feelings of resentment.
Extreme Independence
While maintaining individuality is important, being so independent that you lead separate lives can strain a relationship. It’s important to balance individuality with shared experiences to find middle ground and maintain a healthy relationship.
Outside Interference
Pressure from friends and family can create unnecessary conflict in a relationship. Set clear boundaries on outside input by limiting unsolicited advice and involvement from others
Unwillingness to Seek Help
A partner’s unwillingness to address issues or seek couples therapy to address issues may indicate a lack of commitment to the relationship.
Marriage can be a balancing act at times. Recognizing these warning signs early can pave the way for corrective actions, ensuring both partners contribute to a balanced and respectful marriage.
If you need advice on your specific situation or if you are considering filing for divorce in Michigan and need guidance on your next steps, please don’t hesitate to contact me to discuss your unique circumstances: 248.855.5656 or [email protected].
Healthy relationships are built on trust and open communication. These pillars can be weakened by common unhealthy habits and behaviors. As a divorce attorney, I’ve observed recurring signs that a marriage might be in trouble.
Are you experiencing any of the following signs of an unhealthy marriage?
- Trust Issues
Constantly feeling the need to check your partner’s phone or doubting their honesty undermines trust, a crucial pillar of any healthy relationship. - Poor Communication
Open and honest communication are essential to a healthy relationship. If you are constantly misunderstanding one another, it can lead to resentment and a breakdown of your emotional connection. - Attempts to Change Your Partner
While it’s positive to address issues together, trying to change your partner into someone they’re not can impact their self-esteem and offset the balance in your relationship. - Control Issues
In many cases, control issues are cited as the reason behind a rocky marriage. Control over finances or social interactions can lead to resentment. This imbalance often points to deeper problems in a marriage. - Lack of Compromise
Meeting one another halfway and compromising on the issues on which you don’t see eye-to-eye is essential. Without it, minor issues can escalate.
When experiencing any of these unhealthy behaviors in your marriage, it’s best to address and work through them via open, clear communication or couples therapy before they escalate out of control.
If you need advice on your specific situation or if you are considering filing for divorce in Michigan and need guidance on your next steps, please don’t hesitate to contact me to discuss your unique circumstances: 248.855.5656 or [email protected].
Married couples should be comfortable around each other. They should be a source of comfort and routine to some degree, but it’s important not to fall into such a routine that it becomes a rut.
Overcoming a stagnant routine can be difficult. Putting forth the effort to add interest and variety to your marriage can keep you both from becoming bored.
Below are my top 5 suggestions for banishing boredom in your marriage:
Identify the source:
Explore why you are feeling bored and stagnant in your marriage. Is it just because of normal daily routines and your busy lifestyle? Or are you and your partner avoiding a larger issue? Are you both feeling this way? If it’s a larger issue, work on addressing and resolving that first.
Schedule regular dates:
It can be relaxing to spend evenings on the couch in your pajamas binging your favorite show together, but scheduling regular time for dates can reignite passion and break the monotony of daily routines. This can be as simple as a walk in the park or visit to a local museum or even just meeting up for an ice cream cone after a long day of work.
Explore New Hobbies Together:
Whether it’s couples yoga, hiking or cooking classes, taking up a new hobby or activity together can spice things up and help you bond in new ways. Keep it interesting by making separate lists to see what activities you both align with, and alternate who chooses the activity to ensure both interests are explored.
Set Goals
Discuss your goals so that you can work together to achieve them as a couple and support one another in your individual goals. This will enhance your communication and teamwork.
Add Variety into Your Routine
Review your typical day, week, month and see where you can make changes to infuse some variety into your lives. Maybe try a new recipe, have a picnic dinner or even just invite some friends over. Small changes in your routine can make a big impact on adding excitement to your life.
If you’re finding yourself feeling stagnant and bored in your daily routines, it’s time to make a change. I suggest trying one or more of these strategies to banish the boredom and keep your marriage engaging and fulfilling.
If you need advice on your specific situation or if you are considering filing for divorce in Michigan and need guidance on your next steps, please don’t hesitate to contact me to discuss your unique circumstances: 248.855.5656 or [email protected].
Marriages end for a variety of reasons. In some cases, certain habits continued over time can build up creating a fractured relationship that is difficult, or impossible, to repair.
Some of these toxic habits are obvious, while others can build over time, until they eventually destroy your relationship and end your marriage.
Below are five common toxic habits that can destroy a marriage:
Dishonesty
Dishonesty can start off as a “little white lie” or sometimes even a way to keep the peace in your household and avoid arguments. Things like not disclosing spending, gambling, or substance use can escalate into larger secrets, and snowball into leading a double life.
This can start with a lack of communication and grow into a wedge between spouses. It can sometimes devolve into infidelity as the distance between partners grows.
It’s important to keep communication open and honest in order to maintain a relationship.
Lack of Communication
Open and honest communication is more difficult to achieve for some. We are not all trained to have great communication skills, but practicing listening, understanding, truly paying attention, and providing support, is necessary for keeping lines of communication open.
If communication turns into arguments that are never resolved, resentment can build, limiting future conversations and putting a wedge between you and your spouse.
Jealousy
A lack of trust in a relationship can manifest in jealous behavior, which can spiral into anger on both sides. Finding the source of the trust issue, whether it be insecurity or past experiences, and determining how to move past it to build a healthy, trusting relationship is imperative to not falling victim to this toxic habit.
Lack of Intimacy
Intimacy in a relationship is important. Sometimes, in the rush of day-to-day life, intimacy can wane. Losing emotional and physical intimacy can strain your relationship to the point where you no longer feel the connection of a true partner.
It’s important in a marriage to make time for intimacy. Even focusing on remembering the little things like surprising your spouse with their favorite meal or spending time together reconnecting can make all the difference of not succumbing to this habit.
Controlling Behavior
A relationship where both partners are valued and respected is key to longevity in marriage. If one spouse is always controlling, giving little consideration for the other’s feelings or preferences, it can be disastrous for the relationship.
This article covers some of the toxic relationship habits that can destroy a marriage. There are, of course, other relationship-impacting behaviors that can be cause for concern.
If you need advice on your specific situation or if you are considering filing for divorce in Michigan and need guidance on your next steps, please don’t hesitate to contact me to discuss your unique circumstances: 248.855.5656 or [email protected].
Going through a divorce is a stressful situation. This stress impacts you both emotionally and physically.
Recent studies, including one recently published by the Journal of Men’s Health (JMH), suggest that divorce could impact individuals physically including:
- Extreme weight changes
Stress, depression and changing living conditions can result in weight fluctuations, which can impact overall health in individuals. - Increased risk of chronic conditions
Increased and prolonged stress can also lead to increased risk of diabetes and heart disease. - Sleep disturbances
Emotional stress from divorce can disrupt sleep and could lead to insomnia or other sleep disorders. - Weakened immune system
Stress and lack of sleep can cause an individual’s immune system to be weakened, leaving them more susceptible to a range of illnesses. - Reduced Overall Well Being
Anxiety, guilt, depression, substance abuse and more can be associated with divorce, all of which can impact your physical well being.
Some of these physical and psychological concerns may be heightened before and during the divorce and could subside afterwards, especially with proper awareness, attention, and care. Some main concerns would be for those who are already susceptible to certain conditions like depression, anxiety, or substance abuse.
Despite these potential impacts of divorce, it could still be the right decision, depending on your unique situation. The sense of relief and freedom from being in a stressful marriage is often the better option for couples who are not able to remedy the issues in their partnerships.
Divorcing with awareness of these psychological and physical concerns can help you better prepare for how to address them if they do occur.
Pay attention to your emotional and physical health throughout the process. Seek help from your friends and family, or from a professional like your doctor or therapist when you are over-stressed or feeling any of the items described above.
If you are considering filing for divorce in Michigan and need guidance on your next steps, please don’t hesitate to contact me to discuss your unique circumstances: 248.855.5656 or [email protected].
Divorce is a complex process both emotionally and legally. While everyone’s situation is different, there are some key factors that often contribute to a couple’s decision to end their marriage.
In this article, we’ll explore the top four common causes of divorce
1. Incompatibility
Incompatibility is frequently cited as a primary reason for the dissolution of a marriage. While couples may initially share common goals and values, individuals can evolve and change over time, leading to different paths and irreconcilable differences.
2. Infidelity
Partners expect fidelity and trust in a marriage. Infidelity can break this trust and bond, leaving a lasting impact that is often difficult, if not impossible, to repair, even with professional help.
3. Financial Disagreements
Disagreements about money are common among married couples, but they can escalate if partners are unable to align their financial goals. Issues such as overspending, mismanaging funds, or hiding expenses can further strain a relationship. These issues involve an element of dishonesty that is hard to overcome.
4. Lack of Communication
Communication is key to maintaining a healthy relationship. Without it, couples may drift apart emotionally and physically, causing a breakdown in the relationship. Poor communication can lead to misunderstandings, unresolved conflicts and a lack of unity, all of which can be difficult to reestablish.
These are just four of the main causes of divorce. Various other factors can contribute to the difficult decision to end a marriage. There are many factors such as finances, living arrangements, alimony, and custody, and more that will require legal resolution during the divorce process.
If you are considering filing for divorce in Michigan and need guidance on your next steps, please don’t hesitate to contact me to discuss your unique circumstances: 248.855.5656 or [email protected].
Divorce is difficult under any circumstances, but it can become much more complicated and emotional if you’re divorcing a narcissist.
Narcissism is described as a personality disorder characterized by a sense of entitlement, excessive need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.
Narcissistic traits can result in manipulative, controlling behavior, which can make it difficult to navigate the divorce process and to reach a fair divorce settlement.
If you’re considering divorcing a narcissist, here are the top seven things you should consider:
1. Identify the behaviors
If you’re dealing with a narcissist, you have, no doubt, already noticed certain behaviors, but it’s important to educate yourself on those that are common so that you can better prepare for the challenges these behaviors bring.
Some common behaviors include:
- Gaslighting: A narcissist may try to make you doubt your reality or perception of events, deny or minimize your experiences or accuse you of being overly sensitive or irrational.
- Projecting: As a defense mechanism, a narcissist may project their own flaws onto you, accusing you of the behaviors they exhibit.
- Blame-shifting: To avoid taking responsibility for their actions, a narcissist may deny or minimize their role in a situation or accuse you of causing the problem.
- Manipulation: a narcissist may try to manipulate or bully you to get what they want with little disregard for your feelings.
2. Build a supportive network
Divorce, especially with a narcissist, can be an emotional rollercoaster, so be sure to have a supportive network available. Friends, family members, support groups and even therapists or counselors with experience in this area can provide valuable insight and support.
3. Protect yourself and your children
It’s always important to document any threatening or abusive behavior and take appropriate actions to protect yourself and your children when necessary.
4. Work with an experienced divorce lawyer
Work with a divorce lawyer who has experience dealing with narcissistic personalities. They will be familiar with some common issues, can help ensure that you know your rights, and can provide you with the guidance and support you need to navigate the divorce process.
5. Focus on your goals
Develop a clear strategy so you can maintain focus on your goals and priorities. This way, you’ll be less likely to be derailed or distracted if a situation occurs with your spouse and you can remain on track toward the ultimate goal of achieving a fair and beneficial divorce settlement.
6. Learn the best ways to communicate
Set clear boundaries by being specific about how, when, and how frequently communication can happen. If necessary, set limits on methods of communication, such as only communicating through email or monitored communication app, or establishing a specific day and time for phone or in-person communication.
7. Set limits and stick to them
Set limits on your topics of discussion and how communication should be conducted to avoid confrontations, bullying or manipulation tactics. Do your best to stay calm, avoid emotional reactions, and limit communication to only necessary matters. Limits and clear boundaries of contact can help prevent communication from devolving into arguments or worse.
Divorcing a narcissist can add another layer of difficulty and emotion to an already difficult process, but with the right support, guidance, and plan in place, it is possible to reach a beneficial settlement.
If you have questions or are looking for advice about your specific situation, please contact me directly at 248.855.5656 or [email protected].
For many, the new year signifies a fresh start and an opportunity to make positive life changes. If you’re considering divorce, this can be a time of tough decisions about moving forward in your life.
Below are some resolutions for navigating divorce in the new year:
- Be prepared to compromise
Divorce involves difficult decisions and compromise is key to reaching mutually beneficial outcomes. - Be organized & set a budget
Gather and organize your financial and personal documents, including income, expenses, assets and debts. This will help you make informed decisions regarding your budget moving forward. - Find a qualified divorce attorney
Divorce is a complex and emotional process. It’s important to have an experienced professional to guide you through the process. - Take care of yourself emotionally and physically
Prioritize self-care, exercise, and healthy eating. Take time for yourself and seek support from friends, family, or even a therapist when needed. - Co-parent wisely
Communicate respectfully with your co-parent. Avoid fighting, name-calling, or speaking negatively about your ex in front of your children. - Explore new interests
Take the opportunity to try something new and explore your own interests. You could start a new hobby, volunteer in your community, or take a class in something you’ve always wanted to learn. Trying something outside of your normal routine is a great way to start off a new year – and new life.
If you have questions or are looking for advice about your specific situation, please contact me directly at 248.855.5656 or [email protected].
Many friends and clients have asked me whether they should try marriage counseling before or during a divorce. The answer depends on several factors.
- Make sure that the counselor is an experienced psychologist holding at least a master’s or PhD. degree and who does marriage counseling on a regular basis. They are usually much better trained and more insightful as to understanding the underlying emotional problems each party is feeling, individually and as part of a married couple.
- It is also important to understand that if counseling has a chance of succeeding, both husband and wife must actively participate with the goal of making the marriage work. They must also be prepared to accept that the marriage might not be right for them and to move on without malice.
- Be aware that there are three situations where marriage counseling will not work unless these underlying problems are addressed and favorably resolved first:
- Ongoing affairs outside of the marriage
- Alcohol and/or substance abuse
- Ongoing mental and/or physical spouse abuse
- Couples engaged with a competent counseling professional should see at least some small incremental progress after three or four weeks in counseling. If not, then marriage counseling will probably not work to save the marriage. If that’s the case, then individual counseling is suggested to smooth the pathway to divorce.
If you have questions or are looking for advice about your specific situation, please contact me directly at 248.855.5656 or [email protected].
All relationships take work. This is especially true for marriage. In the beginning, things can seem effortless, but as the ups and downs of life occur, as children are born and responsibilities change, relationships can become strained and difficult to manage.
If you’re at the point where you are unhappy in your marriage and your relationship is suffering, it’s time to determine if you are just going through a rough patch and need to seek marriage counseling or if divorce is the right answer.
Below are six questions to help you begin to determine if you need counseling or divorce:
Are you and your spouse both willing and ready to work on your relationship?
Counseling can only work if both parties want to work on the relationship and are willing to be open and cooperative with the marriage counseling process. If you or your spouse already made the decision to divorce, it is probably too late to seek counseling to try to mend the relationship.
Is the love still alive?
Are you going through a rough patch? Or have either or both of you fallen out of love? In order for you to have a successful marriage, there needs to be an opportunity to rekindle or redefine what that love is moving forward.
Have you waited too long?
Has too much time passed, allowing resentment and hurt feelings to build and solidify? Often, waiting too long to seek counseling can be detrimental to trying to resolve martial issues.
Has there been infidelity?
Trust is essential to a healthy relationship. If there has been infidelity, it can be incredibly difficult to rebuild trust. Often, infidelity is the final straw in deciding between marriage counseling and divorce.
Is your marriage missing intimacy?
If this is the case, you and your spouse both need to be on the same page in wanting to rebuild intimacy. If either of you is indifferent or uninterested, it may be too late for counseling to help.
Is there abuse?
Emotional or physical abuse is not acceptable. If abuse is occurring in your marriage, it’s time to seek help from loved ones or other resources to get out.
These questions can give you a start to determining if marriage counseling is right for you or if you’re ready to take the next step towards divorce. Overall, be realistic. If one or both of you is unwilling to be open to working on your relationship, if one of you has already decided it’s time to move on, or if you are not in a safe environment, marriage counseling may not be the answer.
If you have questions or are looking for advice about your specific situation, please contact me directly at 248.855.5656 or [email protected].